First day of classes
I'm planning to wear a shirt today that says, "I'm out of bed...what more do you want?" I think it will be quite appropriate, even if I inexplicably got up early this morning.
And Vicky reports that my relationship quiz results fit me "remarkably well." *weeps harder*
Addendum: Former bf Matt also "agrees fully" with my relationship quiz results. *conks head onto keyboard*
And, now I have a mysterious visitor from Virginia. The only dude I know who was in Virginia recently is definitely no longer there, soooo...*scratches head*
Back at Pomona!
FINALLY got an ethernet cable from Huntley. *sigh* I really thought I packed one, but when I had my computer all set up, an ethernet cable was not to be found.
Anyways....being with Internet means I get to do all sorts of random things I don't need to be doing. Like, taking online quizzes! Or rather, this particular quiz since Vicky had her answers on her blog and I figured I might as well see where I stand...
20 Questions to a Better Relationship
eXpressive: 3/10
Practical: 3/10
Physical: 5/10
Giver: 10/10
You are a RSYG--Reserved Sentimental Physical Giver. This makes you a Nice Guy/Nice Girl.
Oh, poor RSYG. You're the one all your friends of your target sex *should* be dating when you have to watch them go out with jerks. You're the sweet one that the lead in a romantic comedy ends up with after s/he learns a valuable lesson. You're the best friend, the chaperone and the shoulder to cry on when you should be the lover. Well, no one ever said people were smart.
You dislike conflict -- you prefer to express yourself through action, not discussion -- but you know it is necessary. This means you are more likely to tackle an issue before it grows, but you're also more likely to stop fighting before the issue is resolved to your satisfaction. This isn't necessarily a bad thing -- it's kind of a nice compromise between fighting about everything and fighting about nothing -- but you have to remember to look out for your own interests sometimes.
You have a strong sexual appetite, but it seems so out of place with the rest of your persona that people find it hard to believe. Often they try to shield you from sexual content -- it's ridiculous, but you can use it to your advantage: everybody wants someone clean in the kitchen and dirty in the bedroom. That's you.
You don't want to cheat, but you might. Especially since it's only when you're in a relationship that you start getting the attention from your target sex that you should have been getting all along. Your experiences could make you misanthropic if you weren't so tenderhearted.
You'll end up with someone who deserves you in the end.
Of the 29826 people who have taken this quiz, 4.2 % are this type.
Oh, I weep. But I think the part about sexual appetite is funny, given my relative unexperience with the opposite sex. (Vicky said I was a "late bloomer." I think she was making fun of me.) And, what the heck, might as well take some more quizzes...
20 Questions to a Better Personality
Wackiness: 56/100
Rationality: 58/100
Constructiveness: 66/100
Leadership: 30/100
You are a WRCF--Wacky Rational Constructive Follower. This makes you a Paul Begala.
You are unflappable and largely unconcerned with others' reactions to you. You were not particularly interested in the results of this test, and probably took it only as a result of someone else asking you to.
You have a biting wit and intense powers of observation. No detail is lost on you, and your friends know it--relying on you to have the facts when others express only opinions. You are even-tempered, friendly, and educated. Foolish strangers may mistake your mildness for weakness--they will be surprised.
Your entire approach to life is enviable. You will raise good kids.
Of the 10717 people who have taken this quiz since tracking began (8/17/2004), 5.1 % are this type.
I suppose that's good. But who the hell is Paul Begala?
There's one bad thing about being back at Pomona. It's been fun looking at StatCounter and figuring out who's been visiting from their location. (Who's the dude/tte from Indiana?! I don't know
anyone from Indiana! At least, I don't think I do...*frown*) But now, practically the only location that will show up is Claremont! Well, except for Vicky and Steph, but I know where they're from anyway...
Which means, leave comments, people! Comments make me happy! :)
Olympics overload
Been overloading on the Olympics this past week. Can't help it, really. I love seeing people at their happiest. (It helps that a good proportion of the male athletes are very good-looking too. Heh.) Everyone's so beautiful when they smile.
I mean, what is this? (The facial expression, not the rest...)
Everytime I see Michael Phelps pull a face like that, I have an uncontrollable urge to laugh. It's so ridiculous in a I'm-trying-to-be-really-cool-but-I'm-still-just-a-kid kind of way. Dude! You're only 19! It's
okay to be dorky!
Muuuuch better!
I have a habit of smiling at people when they pass me. Usually, they smile back. I may not know them, and they may not know me, and we may never see each other again in this fast-paced, lonely world, but for a fleeting moment, there's a connection.
I apparently have a habit of smiling all the time too, although I don't notice it. Last summer, I was walking around the Rutgers lab when the secretary passed me and said, "You're so happy all the time. Always smiling." Of course my natural reaction was, "What?" but once I thought about it, I do always seem to have a slight smile. It may be my natural facial state. Which, I guess, is good. The world needs more smiles anyway. :)
A Michelle Kwan moment
You know that feeling, when you see something so utterly beautiful and magnificent, it literally takes your breath away? I get those all the time when I see Michelle Kwan skate, hence my informal term stated in the title. But tonight I witnessed a Michelle Kwan moment that didn't involve Michelle Kwan.
Paul Hamm was on the parallel bars. He swung his body straight up and held a
perfect handstand.
And time stood still.
Michelle Kwan moments never involve the
big moves for me. A technically perfect triple jump is a thing of beauty, yes, but it doesn't give me goosebumps. Rather, I'm breathing a sigh of relief when skaters land them. The big flashy twists and somersaults in gymnastics give me the same feeling. And I rub my own arms in pain when I see the men do
strength moves on the still rings. JeeZUS.
A Michelle Kwan moment is a display of basic technique. A handstand on the parallel bars isn't terribly difficult, nor is a
spiral on the ice. (Well okay, both would be terribly difficult for me - I'm even more likely to trip on a spiral than a jump - but in the scheme of being an athlete in the respective sports, they aren't terribly difficult.) But occasionally, someone doing a relatively simple move will look like they were born to do it. Like they
belong there.
Paul Hamm looked like he belonged on parallel bars when he did that handstand. It took my breath away.
And then Nessie and I got all teenybopper when he actually came back from 12th place
to win. (Check out the look on his trainer's face. It's
great.)
azncupycake18: OMG!
sMiLe: OMG OMG
azncupycake18: did you see paul hamm??
sMiLe: didja watch gymnastics?!?!?!
azncupycake18: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!
sMiLe: I KNOW!!!!
sMiLe: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
sMiLe: :-D
And speaking of the Olympics, I think I will reflect the curiosity of most Americans when I ask,
"How come Michael Phelps's Speedos don't fall right off?"
Your typical upstanding American citizen here...
Or not. Or, maybe I am really typical, because nobody in the line wanted to be at the county courthouse as part of jury selection either.
Don't get me wrong. It would be on my list of totally cool things to do, standing on a jury for a real trial (or frivilous lawsuit or whatever the case, no pun intended). But right now it isn't, because I just got home yesterday from an 8-week summer session in Berkeley where I had to get to class at 8AM four times a week and my summer has
just started dang it and I want to sleep in before I have to get back to Pomona two weeks from now. Getting up at 9AM for a trial doesn't sound very attractive to me, nor does getting stuck on a criminal trial that might last for THREE weeks.
But it's okay, because my panel wasn't picked. We were dismissed at 10:30AM when it turned out they didn't need people for the afternoon. I feel bad for saying this, but...YAY!
Now I get to do all the summer-y things I missed out on. Like...SLEEP!
zzzZZZzZzzzzzzZZzzzz....
Walking cell phones!
Steph and I were bored in the Unit 3 laundry room, so I told her what Nessie told me when we were bored: cell phones that are thick enough to stand on their own can "walk" when vibrating. So,given our tendencies to be amused very easily, we had a very small cell phone survey:
Nessie's phone: inches forward
Steph's phone: inches to the left
Vicky's phone: spins around slowly in a circle
My phone: falls over since it's so small it can't stand up on its own
Vicky saw us laughing our butts off and could only shake her head.
Yes, we are total losers.
Chirp!
Feel pretty good overall with physics midterm today. Sat in seat 47.
Coincidence? I think not.
But I refuse to disappoint myself. Will project test score as 10-20 points lower than my happy mood says I did. Yay. Have ensured happiness for later.
Will eat big dinner as reward (with extra ice cream for my sugar fix) and proceed studying for final tomorrow. (Woohoo? Meh..)
Must take note to sit in seat 47 tomorrow too.
What's the term for "fear of cute guys"?
I bow down in reverence to Vicky's boldness. She went right out and told a guy he was cute. Granted, it was in an email, but still! Hell will freeze over if I ever did that, even counting emails. (My former bf doesn't count, because I was already
in a relationship with him when I told him that. Therefore, it's okay and even expected.)
I have the idea that if I told someone he was cute, he'd turn and run away screaming. In fact, when I do spy a nice male specimen, I take one look and then avoid any and all eye contact with him. I am reminded of the time, years ago, in Australia when everyone in the student ambassador program met everyone else's host families. One of my friends had a "brother" who was so stunningly handsome, I immediately turned away as if suddenly blinded. I don't even remember what he looked like, but I remember my reaction. That's pretty pathetic, wouldn't you say?
I'm not sure where this stems from. Maybe from my days as an awkward teenager. Man, was I a fugly 13-year-old. Fug. Ly. I would have an absolutely miserable time as a middle-schooler now, judging from the wannabe model-girls I saw at my cousin's 8th grade graduation. Dear
god. I've grown into my face and body quite nicely from that phase, but being satisfied with what you see in the mirror and being convinced that someone
else can see you that way are two distinct matters. Basically, I don't believe that anyone else but me can think I'm attractive. No, not even my own mother, but that's how Asian mothers are.
So with this theory, when I see a cute guy, my instinct immediately tells me that:
- He's looking at me with disdain because he knows he's so obviously out of my league that why the heck am I even bothering to look?
- He must already have a fuck buddy (not that I want to get caught up in THAT anyway) or girlfriend or fiancee or wife. Or all of the above...
- Even if he doesn't have any of the above, he probably has some pretty darned good candidates that I can't possibly live up to. Because I'm little ol' me.
Yup, that sounds about right.
But being afraid of cute guys doesn't mean I can't discuss them with other girls! And lamenting over the fact that we can't seem to get away from things that are bad for us....
s: goofy
s: bad!
s: crush material
s: bad!
s: skinny white boy
s: bad!
s: draws pretty pictures
s: bad!
When she said this (referring to the guy she sent the email to), I immediately pictured the hilarious round of Taboo when Eddo drew a card near the end of the round, took one look at the word, and immediately yelled out, "BAD!!....BAD!!!" with eyes wide in horror and finger pointing accusingly at the card. The word was "pornography."
So with that in mind, I add to the discussion
my cute-guy candidate:
azncupycake18: ....and he's a republican :-P
s: bad! bad!
Ooh, I think some molecule in hell must have cooled 0.000000000000001 degree, because THAT, my friends, is the closest I'll come to telling someone he's cute. That actually could be enough information already, but that tells you more about the political leanings of Pomona Sagehens than my taste in guys. We'll see if he runs away screaming the next time he sees me.
On a semirelated tangent, I give you the genius of
Dave Barry. This I find very true, especially the part about the Labrador retriever. Maybe I should just give up on cute guys and go right for dogs. At least I'm not afraid of puppies.
Fiddling with danger (and other noncomputer-related things)
Something just occurred to me last night. I always realized that trying to gather the remnants of a relationship that had lasted 1.5 years would be a challenge. Random reminders of "us" would always be hiding someplace, for me to find when I really needed, say, a AA battery. Or something.
I knew that everytime I talked with Vicky or saw any of the friends I met here through her, I could be reminded of him. Heh, now explaining how we know each other is going to be even weirder. Or it was going to entail utlilizing two extra words - "used to," in addition to the complicated explanation. It really isn't so bad though, since I'm here in Berkeley and the world in which
we existed seems so far away.
I knew that once I came back to campus, I would have to go through yet another computer and remove everything there that reminded me of
us and burn a new
us CD. (And then keep it safe until I got home and could lay it to rest with the photos, notes, and other miscellaneous items in the relationship box-coffin I have in my closet. Exhuming the dead. Don't like the thought of that, somehow.) But it didn't occur to me that I'd have to accept the dangerous mission of taming the Registry Editor beast. Until last night.
He was being cute. He went into my Registry Editor and made it so that every one of my Windows title bars read "Cupy's Pooter :-D" after the title. In utter fascination and curiosity, I went into Registry Editor after he had left and tried to get rid of the stupid AOL icon at the top right corner of all of my IE windows. Instead I had succeeded in erasing all 50 of my AIM away messages. Oops. (And then I tried to pull off the best "Who me? Never!"-face I could when he asked me if I had been playing in the Registry Editor like he had told me not to.)
I'm not sure how it will be when we see each other again. I was a wreck one day after it was official, but I think I returned to my old self pretty quickly otherwise. It certainly helps that I don't see him or hear from him every day. Although there was that one time in Old Teahouse where I saw someone with his hair. Rich dark chocolate brown. Thick. And
curly. And I was sad. I'm not sure if I'll let him give me a hug when we see each other next year. I hope he doesn't get upset. It just might be weird, because I can't love him the way I used to.
Anyways, the prospect of going into the Registry Editor is not attractive to me. I might do something worse to my computer this time than erasing all of my away messages. But I'm not Cupy anymore, and even though she might live in a relationship heaven somewhere with her Mushy (which I still think is a very cute idea), she no longer lives in my computer. Which means, I need some help.
Physics + sugar
Well, chemistry and sugar really...
Prof (explaining how physicists and chemists are always finding newer and smaller building blocks of matter): So, when they found that atoms were made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons, it was a good thing. Especially in grade school, when we built atoms with gumdrops and toothpicks. I'd get lead and another kid would get carbon. I of course got the better end of the deal...when we got to eat them.
V. amused
You know, some things change...
In 2002, sometime during winter break:
xj: i genious :-P
azncupycake18: HAHAHAHA!
xj: wouldve been even funnier if i misspelled genious... :-D
azncupycake18: why do you think i'm laughing? :-D
And some things don't:
Just last night:
xj: im a fuckin genious :-P
azncupycake18: HAHAHAHAHAHA
azncupycake18: i put that quote in the relationship [memory] scrapbook
xj: oh no
xj: i did it again, didn't i?
azncupycake18: :-D
azncupycake18: o yes you did
Distraught
Someone asked me about appetite suppressants today after physics lecture. She and I had become friends in the class, letting the other borrow notes when one of us had slept in. (Me? Never! ::crosses fingers behind back::) When she first asked me about prescriptions, I assumed that she was asking on behalf of a friend or relative - but then she made it clear she was talking about herself. I must have blinked and said, "What?"
She's a nice-looking Asian girl who still fumbles on her English. Shy, quiet, always looking for approval and reassurance. She's about my height, maybe an inch or two shorter. I would be surprised if she weighed more than 130 lbs. I'd hazard 125, but my estimations are always somewhat off.
Needless to say, I asked her why, and she said she was worried about her weight since she was eating so much. Her parents wanted her to take appetite suppressants. I was disbelieving. What's with Asian parents wanting their children to be thin? My own
mother was making fun of me for being a size large in Taiwan - well,
excuse me for being 5'6"...and Vicky was suggesting I name this blog "stickthin" before I came up with "sugarfiend." *sigh* Parents can be so ridiculous sometimes.
I wonder why people just can't accept themselves the way they are. Who said that being thinner/prettier/taller/smarter/popular was better? Who said that being somebody other than yourself was better? I have a lot more to say about that subject, but I think I'll end this one on a poetic note before I go off on a long schpiel.
Vicky had a good description of sunflowers:
They're so happy! I mean, if you think about them, they're kind of an ugly flower. None of the elegance of roses or the exoticness of lilies. But like, they don't care. They stand up straight and follow the sun.
I wish that people could be the same.
How to achieve happiness in life
Set your expectations really really low. Embarassingly low.
Shamefully low. I'm not saying you should look at life in a perpetual state of depression, but for those times when you don't know what the result will be, just expect the worst possible outcome.
Then, when it passes, you'll be happy that it
wasn't the worst possible thing that could've happened.
Yes, I got that physics midterm back just now. And no, the grade actually wasn't as bad as I had thought it could be. So today's a good day.
And this morning I had my half-hour of relativity for the entire summer of number-crunching. No space-time diagrams involving Klingon ships and photon torpedoes, no funky how-much-younger-is-Bob's-identical-twin-if-he-travels-at-x-velocity-for-y-amount-of-years problems. But it was good, I suppose. When the prof talked about how Einstein's postulate explained that the speed of light was constant to all observers (whether you're moving at 1/3 the speed of light or not moving at all), there were audible murmurs of confusion. And I was sitting there, grinning gleefully and thinking, "Yah, isn't it so
coool?????"
God, I'm such a
nerd.
So this explains it...
CelebMatch declared that I was 100% intellectually compatible with Tori Amos. Heh. So
that's why I find her songs fascinating...even though I don't understand the literal meaning of most of them. But
internally, they probably make sense....
And another revelation - Steph's the one who probably corrupted me:
Steph: To thin out nail polish, you just put in some nail polish remover and wait for it to soak in a bit, and then shake it up like NGGNGNGNGNGNGNNG!!!! (mimics shaking a small bottle violently with a crazed look on her face, whacking Vicky's arm in the process)
Sugar count: Coldstone's ice cream (even though it's only 68 degrees today). YUM!!
