Tuesday, August 10, 2004

What's the term for "fear of cute guys"?

I bow down in reverence to Vicky's boldness. She went right out and told a guy he was cute. Granted, it was in an email, but still! Hell will freeze over if I ever did that, even counting emails. (My former bf doesn't count, because I was already in a relationship with him when I told him that. Therefore, it's okay and even expected.)

I have the idea that if I told someone he was cute, he'd turn and run away screaming. In fact, when I do spy a nice male specimen, I take one look and then avoid any and all eye contact with him. I am reminded of the time, years ago, in Australia when everyone in the student ambassador program met everyone else's host families. One of my friends had a "brother" who was so stunningly handsome, I immediately turned away as if suddenly blinded. I don't even remember what he looked like, but I remember my reaction. That's pretty pathetic, wouldn't you say?

I'm not sure where this stems from. Maybe from my days as an awkward teenager. Man, was I a fugly 13-year-old. Fug. Ly. I would have an absolutely miserable time as a middle-schooler now, judging from the wannabe model-girls I saw at my cousin's 8th grade graduation. Dear god. I've grown into my face and body quite nicely from that phase, but being satisfied with what you see in the mirror and being convinced that someone else can see you that way are two distinct matters. Basically, I don't believe that anyone else but me can think I'm attractive. No, not even my own mother, but that's how Asian mothers are.

So with this theory, when I see a cute guy, my instinct immediately tells me that:
  1. He's looking at me with disdain because he knows he's so obviously out of my league that why the heck am I even bothering to look?
  2. He must already have a fuck buddy (not that I want to get caught up in THAT anyway) or girlfriend or fiancee or wife. Or all of the above...
  3. Even if he doesn't have any of the above, he probably has some pretty darned good candidates that I can't possibly live up to. Because I'm little ol' me.
Yup, that sounds about right.

But being afraid of cute guys doesn't mean I can't discuss them with other girls! And lamenting over the fact that we can't seem to get away from things that are bad for us....
s: goofy
s: bad!
s: crush material
s: bad!
s: skinny white boy
s: bad!
s: draws pretty pictures
s: bad!
When she said this (referring to the guy she sent the email to), I immediately pictured the hilarious round of Taboo when Eddo drew a card near the end of the round, took one look at the word, and immediately yelled out, "BAD!!....BAD!!!" with eyes wide in horror and finger pointing accusingly at the card. The word was "pornography."

So with that in mind, I add to the discussion my cute-guy candidate:
azncupycake18: ....and he's a republican :-P
s: bad! bad!
Ooh, I think some molecule in hell must have cooled 0.000000000000001 degree, because THAT, my friends, is the closest I'll come to telling someone he's cute. That actually could be enough information already, but that tells you more about the political leanings of Pomona Sagehens than my taste in guys. We'll see if he runs away screaming the next time he sees me.

On a semirelated tangent, I give you the genius of Dave Barry. This I find very true, especially the part about the Labrador retriever. Maybe I should just give up on cute guys and go right for dogs. At least I'm not afraid of puppies.

posted by sugarfiend @ 1:56 AM

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