Musings on my neverending quest for sugar

S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!!

Right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy
And when I see how sad you are
It sort of makes me...happy!

Sorry, Nicky, human nature-
Nothing I can do!
It's...schadenfreude!
Making me feel glad that I'm not you.

D'ja ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses?
And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters falling on their asses?
And don'tcha feel all warm and cozy, watching people out in the rain!

That's...schadenfreude!
People taking pleasure in your pain!

Watching a vegetarian being told she just ate chicken
Or watching a frat boy realize just what he put his dick in!
Being on the elevator when somebody shouts "Hold the door!"
"No!!!"
Schadenfreude!
"Fuck you lady, that's what stairs are for!"

Straight-A students getting Bs?
Exes getting STDs!
Waking doormen from their naps!
Watching tourists reading maps!
Football players getting tackled!
CEOs getting shackled!
Watching actors never reach the ending of their Oscar speech!
Schadenfreude!

Mmmmm, Ave Q! Yay dirty Muppets and singing boxes and Bad Idea Bears and gay closeted Republican investment bankers!

And Las Vegas! What I wouldn't give to be a theme hotel designer...

"Hey, what sort of crap could we build with the scads of money that we have?"
"Indoor canal!/Indoor rain!/Fountain shows with pyrotechnics!/Steaming manhole covers!/Giant glass flowers!/A butterfly aviary!/Indoor tiger habitat!/Ginormous chocolate fountain!/Our own brewery!"
"Great idea!"

:P

posted by sugarfiend @ 2:05 AM