Life lessons
Everything does happen for a reason. Says my personal quasi-spiritual system, at least.I learned this weekend that the greatest gift you could offer a dying creature is to make sure their last experience on earth is feeling loved. I felt I was able to do that for Dot, and death doesn't seem so frightening to me now. Death is so scary for some people, for those who can't stand being in the same room with someone or something dead or close to dying. But at that point, I think it's not about you and your fears - it has to be about the person who's passing on. (Face it, they're really getting the short end of the stick compared to you.) And making sure that all of the loose ends are tied because there won't ever be another chance.
I buried Dot on Friday afternoon, the same day that she passed. I figured that if my aunt didn't want a sick animal in the house, a dead animal would be out of the question. And leaving her in the car didn't really strike me as a good option either. I put her in a cell phone box, made her some origami flowers and cranes, and wrote her a message. When I told my cousin what happened, she wrote Dot a message too and gave me some snowman wrapping paper to wrap the box in. Dot has obviously never seen snow, and had she encountered it, might have thought it either a lot of fun or really really strange. Either way, it makes me chuckle.
I went out and buried her on Art Center's Hillside Campus, off in some brush where I don't think anyone frequents. Pomona, to me, was not really an option because I was sure that somebody would catch me digging or that the campus gardeners would dig up the box while planting more pretty flowers. Overmaintaining the campus is sometimes not a good thing. Art Center, on the contrary, is literally in the woods, save for some service roads, a large parking lot, and the building. Mountain lions and rattlesnakes were sighted recently, so I figured not many people would be wandering off the roads anyway, LOL. I had a hard enough time finding a suitable place (I actually doubt I'd be able to find it again even if I wanted to), and got out of it with lots of pointy plant parts attacking my pants and socks. God, I hope they don't mind...She has a kickass view though. The campus is on the side of the hill (what a concept!) overlooking the city of Pasadena. Quite a sight.
I didn't cry. At that point, what I was burying was a shell of what she was, not the pet that I knew. Rigor mortis has that effect, I think. It was more devestating when I was holding her and realized she had passed on when she went limp and her heart stopped beating. After I left, a weight seemed to be lifted off my heart, for I felt that I had set her free.
posted by sugarfiend @ 10:30 AM
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