Musings on my neverending quest for sugar

Yay for time wasters!

You Are a Snarky Blogger!

You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of. And that's why they read your posts as often as they can!

What kind of blogger are you?




Oh, how I love nostalgia...
You Know You're From New Jersey When...

• You've been seriously injured at Action Park.
  
• You know that the only people who call it "Joisey" are from New York (usually The Bronx) or Texas.
  
• You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges."
  
• You know that it's called "Great Adventure," not "Six Flags."
  
• You've ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast.
  
• You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.
  
• You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 am.
  
• Whenever you park, there's a Camaro within three spots of you.
  
• You remember that the "Two Guys" were from Harrison.
  
• You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery.
  
• At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and you know what town Jon Bon Jovi is from.
  
• You know what a "jug handle" is.
  
• You know that a WaWa is a convenience store.
  
• You know that the state isn't all farmland.
  
• You know that there are no "beaches" in new Jersey - there's "The Shore," and you know that the road to the shore is "The Parkway" not "The Garden State Highway."
  
• You know that "Piney" isn't referring to a tree.
  
• Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs, and, you call it a "sub" not a "submarine sandwich" or worse yet, a "hoagy" or a "hero."
  
• You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials.
  
• You know how to properly negotiate a Circle.
  
• You knew that the last question had to do with driving.
  
• You know that "Acme" is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros creation.
  
• You know that this is the only "New..." state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (like, try ...Mexico, ...York, ...Hampshire (doesn't work, does it?).
  
• You know how to translate this conversation: "Jeet yet?" "No, Jew?"
  
• You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it "The City."
  
• You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich.
  
• You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo a sacrilege.
  
• In the 80's you wore your hair REALLY high.
  
• You don't think "What exit" (do you live near?) is very funny.
  
• You know that the real first "strip shopping center" in the country is Route 22.
  
• You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton - that's for out-of-staters.
  
• The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar.
  
• You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.
  
• You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town.
  
• You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook Mall.
  
• You've eaten a Boardwalk cheesesteak with vinegar fries.
  
• You have a favorite Atlantic City casino.
  
• You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.
  
• Every year you have at least one kid in your class named Tony.
  
• You know the location of every clip shown in the Sopranos opening credits.
  
• You know that people from North Jersey go to Seaside Heights, and people from Central Jersey go to Belmar and people from South Jersey go to Wildwood.
  
• You weren't raised in New Jersey -- you were raised in either North Jersey, Central Jersey or South Jersey.
  
• You don't consider Newark or Camden to actually be part of the state.
  
• You remember the stores Korvette's, Two Guys, Rickel's, Channel, Bamberger's and Orbach's.
  
• You also remember Palisades Amusement Park.
  
• You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.
  
• You've never pumped your own gas. (at least, not when I was in NJ..)
  
• You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from New Jersey.

Apparently I am really from New Jersey because I related to more than 10 of those.


Aaaaaand...
You Know You're Chinese When....

• You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year. (Hey, I might save Post-it flags, but I'm not THAT bad..)
  
• You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off. (I have 4 bags of candy from Target that I bought right after Halloween, mwahaha...)
  
• When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
  
• You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
  
• Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
  
• You use the dishwasher as a dish rack. (We would if we even realized we had a dishwasher..)
  
• You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
  
• You eat all meals in the kitchen.
  
• You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
  
• You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
  
• You always leave your shoes at the door.
  
• You have a piano in your living room.
  
• You twirl your pen around your fingers. (Never bothered to learn how to do this, but lil sis does this very well..)
  
• Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.
  
• You don't own any real Tupperware - only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
  
• You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
  
• You've eaten a red bean Popsicle.
  
• You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit people's homes. (Ahem, our family prefers large white peaches from the farmer's market)
  
• You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
  
• The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get take out or go to McDonald's.
  
• Ditto for paper napkins.
  
• You never order room service.
  
• You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). These travel snacks are always dried. As in not just dried plums, dried ginger, and beef/pork jerky, but dried cuttlefish (SQUID). (Don't care much for dried plants, but melike jerky and squid v. much!)
  
• Your parents vehemently refuse the sack of gold coin oranges that their guests just brought just to be courteous.(You should see them fighting with other people for the dinner bill..)
  
• Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
  
• You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law. (Biology? Well, I considered med school for about a week..)
  
• When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.
  
• You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they prefer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighborhood.
  
• You don't use measuring cups.
  
• You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.
  
• You beat eggs with chopsticks.
  
• Your parents' house is always cold.
  
• You have a teacup with a cover on it.
  
• You reuse teabags.
  
• Your mom drives her Mercedes to the Price Club.
  
• You tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.
  
• You're a wok user.
  
• You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions.
  
• You have acquired a taste for bittermelon.
  
• You like congee with thousand year old eggs. (STEPH!!! I have to come over sometime when I'm back home so you can make me more! YUMMY!!)
  
• You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached -- it means they're fresh.
  
• You never call your parents just to say hi.
  
• You always cook too much.
  
• If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten rice, even if it's midnight.
  
• Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick. They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods because they produce hot air.
  
• Your parents never go to the movies.
  
• Your parents send money to their relatives in China.
  
• You use a face cloth.
  
• Your parents use a clothes line.
  
• You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.
  
• You starve yourself before going to all you can eat sushi.
  
• You've joined a CD club at least once.
  
• You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics.
  
• You never discuss your love life with your parents. (or, lack of one, as it were..)
  
• Your parents are never happy with your grades.
  
• You keep most of your money in a savings account.
  
• You've been on the Love Boat or know someone who has. (Vicky, were you still interested in going?)
  
• Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
  
• You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
  
• You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
  
• Shao Lin and Wu Tang actually mean something to you.
  
• You love to go to $1.75 movies. (WHERE????)
  
• You love to go to $1.50 movies even more.
  
• You never order sweet-n-sour pork, egg foo young, or chop suey at a Chinese restaurant.
  
• You hate to spend more than $5 for lunch.
  
• Someone in your family drives a Honda... with custom rims.
  
• You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging from your rear-view mirror.
  
• You like to eat chicken feet.
  
• You suck on fish heads and fish fins.
  
• You turn bright red after drinking two tablespoons of beer. (I probably would if I tried..)
  
• You can get a buzz on Coors O'Douls or Miller Sharps.
  
• You look like you are eighteen. (For some reason I always look older..)
  
• You only buy used cars.(I will...when I have enough money)
  
• You have more than five remotes in your house. (And we keep on misplacing them..)
  
• You leave the plastic on the lampshade for ten years or more.
  
• You can't bear to throw things away.
  
• Your dad washes his hair four times a day, or never at all.
  
• Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500. (I really don't want to know. I really don't...)
  
• You've worn glasses at least since the fifth grade. (Second grade!)
  
• Your parents (or some other close relative) own a grocery store or restaurant.
  
• You drive around looking for the cheapest gas.
  
• You add twice the amount of water recommended when making orange juice from concentrate.
  
• You've never seen your parents hug.
  
• Your grandmother lives with you and your family. (Used to, at least..)
  
• You never order desserts at restaurants.
  
• You always have water when dining out.
  
• You say "aiya!" and "wah!" frequently.
  
• You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack.
  
• You love to play mah jong.
  
• You have to read all your parents' mail written in English.
  
• You are constantly being set up with uninteresting (and usually ugly) people by your parents. (Luckily my parents don't do this to me..)
  
• You hate eating cheese.
  
• You have a big aquarium filled with colorful fish somewhere in your house.
  
• Your mother is strangely obsessed with plants.
  
• White people look at you strangely if you tell them you are Buddhist.
  
• You notice the main topic at family get-togethers is food.
  
• You seldom ever owned new clothes if you were a second child.
  
• Your folks never speak under 10 decibels at family gatherings.
  
• You never made the school football or basketball team. (Or, any kind of sports team..)
  
• You have two middle initials instead of one.
  
• You grow your own bean sprouts in the kitchen.
  
• Your mother made you peel water chestnuts and snow peas.
  
• You have an lonely unmarried relative who frequently drops by during dinner time. (Does washing his car in our driveway count?)
  
• You received little red envelopes containing money on special occasions.
  
• You use the underside of a porcelain bowl to sharpen your knives. (*gasp* You can do that?)
  
• You cut your own hair… or had someone in your family do it.
  
• Your grandmother has a lot of gold teeth… especially in front.
  
• You keep fresh garlic and ginger in the kitchen at all times.
  
• You know what the term "lemon" or a "banana" means.
  
• You only have to shave every other day (maybe). (Hahaha. Cousin said he shaved like...once every two weeks)
  
• You wash and reuse ziplock bags.
  
• You know at least three people named Alan Wong.
  
• You never drank milk after eating cherries.
  
• Your parents collect jade jewelry.
  
• You always drink tea after a meal.
  
• Your dad owns at least one bird.
  
• Your parents grow vegetables in a garden.
  
• You use doilies to decorate your furniture.
  
• Your grandmother rapped your knuckles with her chopsticks while reaching food with your fingers.
  
• You're proud to be Chinese - and you pass these jokes on to all your Chinese friends!

I'm actually shocked at how Chinese I am...

posted by sugarfiend @ 1:59 AM